My Dad Crashed My Pre-Wedding Family Meeting and Made a Scene, Now I Can't Forgive Him
This post went viral because it touches on the highly sensitive and often stressful topic of family dynamics during wedding preparations in Korea, particularly the crucial Sanggyeonrye. The father's extreme and public display of negativity and emotional manipulation resonated with many who have experienced similar family conflicts.
The Sanggyeonrye is a formal meeting between the families of the bride and groom, typically held before the wedding to formally introduce themselves, discuss wedding details, and ensure mutual respect and understanding. It's a significant event where first impressions are crucial, making the father's behavior particularly shocking and damaging.
Family drama before a wedding is stressful enough, but one bride-to-be's story on Nate Pann has Koreans reeling over her father's shocking behavior at the crucial pre-wedding family meeting, known as a Sanggyeonrye. This post quickly went viral as users sympathized with her plight and offered advice.
The author, who is set to marry this year, recently held her Sanggyeonrye. Her parents divorced when she was young, but she always felt she grew up well despite it. However, her father, living alone, had become increasingly lonely and negative over the years, often complaining to her and her married brother about not visiting enough. While he was once a loving, albeit reserved, father, his negativity escalated, especially as his children started their own families.
Worried about his behavior, the author specifically asked her dad not to say anything negative at the Sanggyeonrye. Her brother even had a big fight with him over it. The night before the meeting, her dad called, yelling, "I'm upset, I'm not going to the Sanggyeonrye!" and hung up. Furious, the author called him back, telling him to act like an adult and asking why he was trying to ruin her new beginning. Their argument escalated, with her dad declaring he wouldn't go, didn't want to see them, and wouldn't pay for family gatherings. When she asked if he meant to yeoneul kkeunta (cut ties), he affirmed it, telling them to live well on their own.
Assuming he wouldn't come, the author told her fiancรฉ that her dad was sick. But five minutes into the Sanggyeonrye, which her mom and brother were trying to keep cheerful, her dad walked in unannounced. Everyone froze. Her mom tried to smooth things over, but her dad remained silent and stern, only speaking once when her future mother-in-law prompted him: "If I say anything, it's a mistake, so..." He then left without a word while the families were greeting each other after the meal. The author is heartbroken and furious, feeling her wedding's "starting point" has been completely ruined by his selfish actions and the exposure of her white lie. She's now unsure how to move forward with her father, contemplating cutting ties or at least a long period of no contact.
Korean Netizen Reactions
10Wow, your dad's behavior is seriously next level. He's acting like a child, not an adult. You did nothing wrong here.
Honestly, cutting ties might be for the best. You don't need that kind of negativity in your new marriage. Your mental health comes first.
This is so sad. He's clearly lonely but expressing it in the worst possible way. Still, ruining your Sanggyeonrye is unforgivable.
Your poor in-laws! What an impression to make. You handled it as best you could, but he really put you in a terrible spot.
I understand wanting to forgive family, but sometimes you need space. Maybe a few years of no contact will make him reflect.
He said yeoneul kkeunta first. Don't feel guilty if you follow through. He made his choice.
This is why Sanggyeonrye are so stressful. So many potential landmines. I hope your fiancรฉ's family understands.
He's trying to manipulate you with guilt. Don't fall for it. Focus on your happiness and your new family.
My dad did something similar at my wedding. It took years to even talk to him again. Take your time to heal.
Your mom and brother sound like amazing support. Lean on them and your fiancรฉ. You deserve a happy wedding!